Ride the V Funk

The V Funk band takes over Santa Bawawa.  Just the cab downtown was an experience.  We ran downstairs and saw this van waiting for us, we joked it was a soccer mom picking up her kids, then this Russian lady comes around the corner and says, "I've been vating for chu."  We hop in and she is playing a video of Madonna circa 1991, she turns and says "Dis is the new music.  I just put it on my i-pod"  So as we watched Madonna through the years I realized it's definitely time to get Coachella tight!  Madonna is my mom's age and she looks better than me!  What the hell.  At this place called the Statement I was trying to get through the crowd as the amazingly hot and talented DJ spun, all of the sudden some guy grabbed my arm, swung me in and dipped me, it was so ridiculously smooth.. that is until he tried to dance with me, which was him basically flapping his legs against me like he was on roids doing the thigh toner machine or something, it was horrendous.  We partied pretty hard downtown and ended up picking up a street performer and talking all night whilst drinking jalapeno margaritas at The Blue Agave.  Those mother's were freaking spicy!  We somehow ended up back in one piece sans a ride from our Russian struggles taxi driver, "Don't be shushing me, you don't know my strugglesssss"  some other guy picked us up. 

J Booty took us on some great tours of the city, we saw chalk art at the mission, which was incredible, especially after three cups of the best coffee I had ever drank.  Walked around the park, the pier, the beach, and searched for midgets to no avail.. they don't live in Montecito, and they don't throw mini watermelons at you either.  Listened to a lot of Does it Offend you, Yeah?  OMG thank you J Booty, I loved them.  And Sinclair, you are seriously one of the funniest people I know, "When my kite crashes into the ocean I just say to myself, I am too blessed to be stressed, and then I go see a comedy show, okay????"  I wish I could be Sinclaired every weekend.  Vivi you crack me up too!  I wish we could have seen you in your Raptor outfit.  All that was missing from the gang was KB!  Congrats on your graduation though All around town Brown!  I'll leave you all with this amazing picture I made JS take of me in Betsey Johnson of a two hundred dollar sweater.  We both agreed it would be amazing to wear it to a Red Lobster with the bib to have double lobster action going on.