I don't really know how to explain it. How I feel.
Like I'm years back. I just feel all of the sudden how I did then.
I had a really weird dream about someone I hadn't seen in ages last night.
He's mad at me in most of me dreams, but honestly, he spent a lot of time being mad at me.
In fact, I'm sure, wherever he is, he's mad at me now.
It's a shame we couldn't be friends.
But it's not the first time it's ruined a friendship.
It's a shame I connect with guys a lot.
And then it gets ruined. I like having guys as friends.
But most of the time an awkward glance or touch is all it takes.
And even though they say "it won't get weird" it always does.
I end up seeing them a few months later at a restaurant and feel guilty.
And then they reject my facebook requests,
that or write angry blogs about how I'm a horrible person because I don't love them.
I don't mean for it to happen.
I feel bad when I miss them.
Or when I realize I still have a ton of books he gave me.
Or that list he wrote of all the movies we should watch.
Or the messages I ignored because they were awkward.
Maybe you were right.
Maybe we can't be friends. :(
