Ummm, it's the second star to the right and..

Sometimes I don't talk because I don't think you really want to listen.

Many people who first meet me say "she's a quiet one."  Which I think is funny because I'm really not at all.  Actually most of my life I've been scolded for talking too much or too loud.  But on the other end of that spectrum I can be just as quiet.  "What are you thinking?" I've heard more times than I can count.  I wish that more often I could collect my thoughts and display them in a correct order of words to get exactly across how I feel and exactly when I feel them.  Most of the time I don't express something until it is too late, after my mind has processed this universe of thought into a flat plane of exsistance.  That's the only way I can describe it, my dyslexia in a way.  Saying things I don't mean and meaning things I don't say.

So instead I'm the quiet one.  Lost in my head.  Wishing I could bring to life the bumbling thoughts that circle around like tumble weed in a desert.  That being said, I think it's about time I start being more quiet, at least here.  Not that I think I've said too much or too little but I've just come to realize that it's time for me to take this energy and transfer it where it properly belongs, in my journal.  Where there is no sensor, no filter, no rules, no regulations.  Life is so full of twists and turns and stops and goes and constrictions anyways, why not have one place to be free of this?  I don't think I should burden you all with my petty insight, especially when I keep much of who I am private from the world anyways. 

I can't believe this year is already over, reflecting, it hasn't been easy.  But none of you would know about that anyways.  It's been an uphill climb, it's been trial and error, it's been me growing up, and realizing that I'm not a kid anymore and I can no longer return to nevernever land, ever again.