That's your brain cells popping.
I seriously feel like I'm bursting at the seems.
Perusing other people's lives this morning and I realized that I really have no desire to fit in to the social norms. I just can't rap my head around how people can truly believe with their entire being that what society says makes a good life is the end all and be all. I just feel like it is such a set up for disappointment if things don't go your way. I think in times like these I really feel that, I've seen people hit rock bottom, can't find jobs, messy divorces. I wish I could go back to a time when all this seemed like something I wanted because then I would be happy. Ignorance is bliss as they say. But I can't, I really don't know what I want in life anymore, just not what is expected of me I guess. Wouldn't it be nice if things were simpler? No internet or tv or all these daily distractions and searches for instant gratification. Not like I can lay in a field all day and stare at grass blades and listen to music.. but I mean, it would be nice.
Been reading more articles about how in this century more parts of the world are flooding and will be gone for good and seeing the slow change of what our future may be really knocks the wind out of me.
It's tough to see what we've done to this place. But it's not tough to understand why we did it. Maybe this all stems from the fact that my mom dragged me to church with her on Sunday, I left before Eucharist and I don't think she liked that but I had a headache and I really just needed to get out of there. I'm past the get married make babies and all will happen in life for you plan. I think I'd like to continue to travel the world bit by bit. Invade people's minds bit by bit. And just try to find peace from the things that make me happy, laughing at something funny, spending time with people, music, and of course getting an amazing nights sleep in a comfy bed. Which is what I wish I could do right now, just curl up in some blankets, close my eyes, and drift away.
Materialism/capitalistic/greed-driven pursuits, cynicism, and digital absorption (hello internet) all have seemed to really mess up a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteTraveling sounds really great and the whole "get a 9-5 job and get married and have kids" as the pinnacle of life sounds scary and somewhat empty to me.
Oh this is matt fagaly by the way. Just discovered your blog.
and my ridiculous username is too embarrassing/difficult to explain so I won't even attempt it haha.
ReplyDeleteHey Matt! Haha your username sounds like some kind of pervy trucker, yes!
ReplyDeleteBut I definitely agree about those things messing with peoples heads, I'm sure I'll settle down eventually and get into a rhythm of things but I think the problem really is people jumping the gun, it's like SLOW down! You have your entire life to settle down, why not take it easy. It's like scarfing down an amazing dinner in five minutes, yeah you are full but are you satisfied? You never took the time to really enjoy it and now you are stuck watching the people who are still eating and you think damn it I want more..
Haha it does sound like something a fat southern pervert trucker would have.
ReplyDeleteYeah I mean everyone has to settle down, but it is disturbing to me that there are so many people who are anxious to have their lives settled so quickly. That's just a recipe for even worse problems down the line and especially when you're getting married and such when you're in your early 20's, you have a strong possibility of ending up with tons of regrets for what you didn't allow yourself to experience.
I like your dinner example. Definitely not a fun feeling haha.
Yeah, the dinner thing popped into my head because I've definitely done that before and totally regretted not enjoying my food just because I was hungry. Plus when you take your time everything tastes that much better..
ReplyDeletewhich is what I'm hoping is true for life too.
I'm hoping the same. :]
ReplyDelete